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Blood reminds me that im still living
Still suffering here>>


Okay lets start off the post with this statement: I need more sleep. ):
Really. Anyways, i woke up at 730 this morning. The weather's cold and cool and rainy and windy and everything that makes sleeping the best choice one could ever make. BUT Ive gotta drag myself out of bed, and forced myself to rush down to school. I let e house at 750am, while my lessons starts at 8am. So, i cabbed down, and brisk walked all the way to the lt2.
I hate to start off a morning like this, having to rush and everything. Ugh.
Stayed back studied for awhile, okay. I wasnt exactly in a mood to study. So, yada yada. I was spacing out. Not really stoning, because i wasnt looking straight and just stayed motionless. I was holdin my pen, and writing some weird alphabets on my papers, looking and flipping thru my tys and notes, and yeah, i looked like i was doing my work. But i wasnt, it's just me spacing out.
So i went xf's condo's club hse to study with her. :D Ma-ma-mia! I finished one maths paper, and afew chapters on chem. <3>
Oh shit, im in love with her club hse now. Hahaha.


Im not feeling happy again. Y'see, it isnt exactly my fault.
I swore i felt smth.
Then, im quite sure i felt smth.
Right now, i thought i felt smth. =l
Real bummer. I hate this emotional rollarcoaster ride that im on. But i realised, its too late alr. The seatbelt's on, and the ride already started. No way can i back out anymore.
So, whose fault is it? Mine or yours? Who's being silly and stupid here? Me or you? Who's gonna regret? You or me?
Pfft. I hate this.
And yes, my statement still stays. I need my sleep.
But recently, no matter how tired and exhausted and sleepy i was, everytime i hit my bed and close my eyes. Thoughts will just start filling up my mind. And i'll be so occupied, that i couldnt sleep. I'll just start thinkin and thinkin bout stuff and things. And sometimes, i even have to hold those stinging tears back. Oh goodness gracious. No one knows how hard it is, to sleep every night, with thoughts and everything else haunting you. No one knows how hard it is, wishing so hard for a friend or just a person to be there, over the phone, just to hear you cry or whine. And definitely, no one knows how hard it is, struggling through everyday, with a heavy masks on you face.
Imagine falling asleep tonight, and not being able to wake up tmr. (: Ha, i wish i could do tt. Then, it's a true escape from everything.
Aye whatever. Just treat it as me spouting rubbish.
'Nights world.


nobody cares;